at the beach in Malibu
another day well spent!
warm and happy, content like a cat
it was actually the first time since I moved here
that I went to the beach (except for the photo shoot, which was work)
back East, my favorite place to walk everyday,
my sanctuary at all times,
was the beach
as I said, when I moved here,
I knew no one
I had only been here once in my life,
way back in 9th grade
I was taking a huge risk,
and I was terrified
for months, then weeks, then days leading up to the move,
I was filled with anxiety and fear
Literally,
(I really don't like using that word!
but seriously!)
literally everyone I knew was telling me
that I would be miserable,
that the people were horrible,
and that I would hate it here
how could I not have catastrophic expectations?
I had lived on the East Coast my whole life!
I was leaving my son,
I had given up my apartment,
and put everything in storage
for the day that I would move West
my entire life packed in a truck
I was leaving my solace, my sanctuary,
the place I felt at home,
the beach
emotionally, I couldn't go to the beach here until now,
because I could not afford
to miss what I had left
I had made my decision to move
and I was going to try my best to make it work
fortunately, I felt happy here immediately
I fell in love with LA,
the people, the weather, the vastness of the sky
and the breadth of space,
the pace, the creativity,
the natural enclaves within the urban setting,
the Hollywood sign,
the history
(including my history, my memories,
of all of the movies I have ever seen that have taken place here)
this whole time, I have never regretted moving,
but I never wanted to put my happiness to the test
today I realized I never had to worry,
my sanctuary had come with me
my home,
my solace, my sanctuary
is not found in a place
it is within my heart
wherever I am, there it is