before the show, I sat down with my son to get some feedback 
on how to move forward with my work
the first thing he said 
was that he just doesn't understand how 
I can live with all of this restriction
"why don't you want anything?"
I realize it is true, but not true 
I never noticed it,  
but I have lost my capacity to want 
in the end, it is simply that for the past five years
I have only wanted one thing
a cup of coffee
what are material desires compared to something so simple
 a moment in time 
in a space 
safe
free 
just to see
to speak 
 to be with
just a cup of coffee
so simple
it is unobtainable
so simple
it is unobtainable
a want so big
that because of it
there is nothing I want
there is nothing I want
I want for nothing
I have everything I need