I just read

I identified with having all 12

however, I took a look at this definition:

 in effect,
I am spiritually-actualized, not self-actualized

I had to turn to the actualization of my spiritual self
in order to bear the intense pain
of my broken heart
to be able to transmute it
and find meaning to my life and my self
to find meaning
in my broken heart

this weekend brought me face to face
with the realization
that although I have found happiness and joy
in my life,
in a way, I don't really exist

to actualize
is to "make a reality of"
In reality,
I am my dreams of who I want to be in actuality

I am a spiritual being
but not a physical being